Prayer!

I have been waking up to nightmares. Yesterday morning I had a panic attack from my nightmare. I believe that this is spiritual warfare because these nightmares involve something that is still a very deep hurt in my life. Normally I can just move on and forget about it, but these nightmares made me feel as though they were reality. I spent time trying to cry- it has been so many years since i've let my tears fall that I have a hard time releasing them. Finally I was able to cry for maybe a minute, felt relieved and went on my day. As I went on my day I asked the folks from my CBS group to pray for me and this spiritual warfare.

As I was walking in my neighborhood this morning, iPod turned up loud and slushing through the rainy sidewalk. It dawned on me that my dreams were not horrifying. I woke up refreshed, I felt peace.... Then I realized that my friends at CBS were really praying for me. I started to think about my prayer life then I thought about how my friends pray, and how their prayer lives are different from mine....

I then realized that I do pray, but I hold back and believe to myself that MAYBE if I am lucky God will answer me. If my point is valid enough, if I am holy enough, if I am desperate enough, if I'm on God's good list for that day, maybe then he'll answer my prayers. Then a wind of relief swept over my heart as I realized that God heard every prayer. I thought about the battle I went through, 6 years of cutting, 6 years of praying for healing, 6 years of hopelessness, hanging onto what ever I could, hoping and praying and wishing I was good enough for God to help me. I should know that God won't let me fall!!!!

So, I am writing this as an encouragement to you all, remember that God hears every prayer, you don't have to say it 10000000 times till he hears you. You don't have to yell it out to the sky, or even say it out loud. HE HEARS. It is like an instant message to God when we pray.