Forward Motion.

As I wrote, monday night I was beginning to get VERY impatient waiting on God to help me to feel secure and safe at school. After having spent some more time with the Lord alone, I felt a little better. Though, I wondered if the God that everyone else serves was the same God I serve, or whether He wanted a vacation from me and just wanted to let me suffer for a few days. I knew that this was a lie from the enemy the moment I thought it, so I prayed for it to get away... It took a while.

Tuesday I was just floating along. I went on with my day as usual, but recieved a text from one of my friends, Amber, who had moved downstairs the night before asking if I wanted to go to UNCC for their worship service. This blew me away. I felt so much peace and it literally felt like God was patting my back saying, "YOU CAN DO THIS KELL!"

I went downstairs to make more plans for that night... It was pretty neat downstairs. I felt like all of my friends had left me isolated on the 5th floor and I was doomed to forever walk up those awful steps alone! After being downstairs I heard of an oppertunity to move down there. This girl named Veronica just had her roommate leave her for some petty reason and was alone downstairs in a 2 bed room. Jokingly I said, "let me see your room!!!!"

It is huge, I was in shock.... I asked the Lord to make it clear to me, FAST, what I should do!
I was worried about Labreka and whether she would be okay with my moving or not. When I asked our residence director if I could move, it literally took 2 seconds before she handed me a key to room 216.(first floor). Breka laughed and told me to go ahead. The girls and I moved all of my junk from the 5th floor to the bottom floor with 3 loads! Later that night I questioned if the move was far too impulsive and if it was a mistake... Just as I was dozing off the sleep in doubt there is a knock on our door... It's Labreka. She came in, hugged me, and told me that there were so many girls wanting to move in with her. Then again it was as if I heard the Lord say, "Your in the right place Kelly."

That night was pretty awesome. After moving in downstairs we headed off to UNCC. When we got there it took us forever and a day to figure out where we needed to be. By the time we had figured out where we should be it was 30 minutes into the night. Something pretty awesome happened then. One of the girls stopped us all from walking grabbed our hands and started to pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought of how pleased God must have been to see these girls praying!

man oh man. The week went on and there were so many instances that reassured me of who God thinks I am. The power of the ressurection was inside of me. When 150 girls live together, the chances of a pms fight are highly likely!!!!!! Thursday night there was a conflict between two of my friends. Both have intimidated me from day one with their independant additudes. I know that it is only by God that I was able to completely ignore that feeling and BREAK through that tough wall... There were tears, and then there were hugs. With this happening, and the realization that Veronica went to the same church I led a group at... there was that voice again..." "YOU CAN DO THIS KELL!"

I can't imagine what would have happened if I let one night of feelings completely control my life. That is the kind of power I have given my feelings... That kind of means I was giving myself the power to be god. Man what a crappy god I am. As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm realizing that there are soooo many ways to have idols in place of God... And most of these ways are unintentional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't wake up one day, build a statue of myself and say, "i'm going to believe and live by everything I feel." Yet somehow it happened!

God is teaching me so much. Idolatry is far more complicated than it's definition!

CRAZY!
WOOO Lord you are SOOOO good.

Praising Him.